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  • Trump Throws Rally For Accused Pedophile And Almost No One Shows Up

    Donald Trump, News, Politics

    Donald Trump went to Pensacola, Florida on Friday night. I thought I might let you know in case you missed his three tweets about it during the day, since, you know, apparently everyone else missed them.

    They were good tweets, too! Or wait, no — they were pretty standard Trump fare:

    So let’s see, we’ve got a great big lie, two MAGAs, and a shoutout to the least trustworthy news channel on television for showing his rally on air.

    It’s important to note here that nestled in the middle of those tweets was another one, with a voting recommendation in it. Trump had insisted that he wasn’t going to campaign for notorious teen mall employee stalker and child molester Roy Moore, who wants to be the next US Senator from the state of Alabama. And he’s not, he promises! Except:

    That would be Trump’s very first tweet explicitly telling his followers to vote for the future Hell-dweller. Oh, and Pensacola? It’s, um, right next door to Mobile, Alabama. The same media market, in fact. So the rally that Donald Trump threw Friday night in Pensacola was pretty much a campaign event for the Senate seat in Alabama that will be decided on December 12, less than a week away.

    And for all the bad stuff I could say about Trump, the man knows how to throw a rally: Plenty of signs handed out to the crowd, rowdy music, incitements to violence, overt racism, and apparently (since it’s Christmastime) some fake snow. In Florida.

    But the big story was the fact that all that just didn’t seem to be enough. The multiple tweets, the promise of an over-the-top speech, the indoor weather — it just didn’t add up to a crowd. Trump supporters belong to a special cross-section of society that thinks it’s much bigger than it actually is, but unfortunately, they just can’t fill a stadium. Not even one as small as the 10,000 seat Pensacola Bay Center, an “arena” that hosts KISS concerts whenever there are no minor-league hockey games going on.

    Then Saturday morning rolled around, and Donald Trump did exactly what we all expected him to do. First, he confirmed that it was intended to be a rally for Roy Moore, even though he promised he wasn’t going to campaign for Roy Moore, since he’s, you know, a child molester:

    Then he lied about the size of the rally. For like the thousandth time.

    I think all Donald Trump wanted for Christmas was a tax bill to sign and a great big crowd. This rally looked a little more like coal in his stocking.

    Featured image via Joe Raedle/Getty Images